Masters at Les Mis
by Sidekicks-anonymous
Summary: "Les Miserables" was aptly named; it was making Mekaneck miserable. How did he get talked into this again? A short humor ficlet that demanded to be written. 2002 MOTU with the unexplained presence of the 2012 "Les Mis" film. Enjoy!


Mekaneck squirmed in his seat, wishing fervently for this ordeal to be over. He wasn't sure which made him more uncomfortable: the increasingly stuffy theater, or the fact that Man-E Faces was bawling in the seat next to him. That was just…awkward.

The end had to be near; it just had to be. As sneakily as he could, Mekaneck checked the time display on his communicator. 90 minutes left! He stifled a groan. This was a nightmare; a nightmare that he couldn't wake up from. When this was over, he was going to have a few words with his friend about false advertising.

* * *

It had happened that morning. Man-E had come to breakfast with a grin on his face and a spring in his step. He practically danced into the room, humming a tune undoubtedly taken from some musical. This was a far cry from his usual morning behavior (most days, his monster face didn't disappear until at least the second cup of coffee), and it had instantly piqued everyone's interest.

"You're awfully cheerful," Stratos observed with a raised eyebrow. "Any particular reason?"

"Guess what movie premieres tonight?" Man-E was apparently bursting to tell them, because he didn't even wait for an answer. "Tonight, I go to see the first film adaptation of the greatest opera in history! And it is going to be SPECTACULAR!" He shouted the last word with his monster face, making it echo ominously around the room.

"I'm rather excited about it, in case you can't tell." Man-E joked, switching back to his normal expression.

"Ya don't say," Prince Adam quipped from across the table. He took another bite of his cinnamon roll, crumbs flying from his mouth as he continued speaking. "What opera is it?"

Man-E's face lit up at the question. He leapt to his feet, knocking over his chair in his excitement.

"What opera is it?!" His voice took on the booming timbre of a narrator about to recite an epic. "It's a story of deepest sorrow and injustice; of one bittersweet victory in the midst of a rebellion! It's a tale of poverty and hardship, of soldiers and bloody battles! Of courage in the face of impossible odds! The story of one man's quest for redemption as he flees from injustice and a relentless adversary!"

The former actor held a hand to his heart and gazed reverently into space.

"That opera changed my life," he breathed. "It's the reason I took up acting in the first place. And later, it's what inspired me to take up arms and defend my own land against the forces of injustice."

"Whoa!" Prince Adam's hushed exclamation was in unison with Mekaneck's. Sharing a glance, they could tell their thoughts were identical. Even if it was an opera, this story sounded awesome.

"When's the movie start?" Adam demanded.

"And would you mind if we joined you?"

Man-E was taken aback by their reactions. He eyed them skeptically.

"You want to come?"

"Sure, why not?" Mekaneck shrugged. Opera wasn't normally his thing, but an opera about a revolution sounded promising. At least, it sounded better than another evening spent tuning up his neck apparatus. Prince Adam apparently agreed.

Man-E was delighted at their interest. He told them when they'd leave for the film and assured them that he'd get the tickets. At that point, Man-at-Arms came in to hand out the day's work assignments. So Man-E never got to tell them the name of the opera, and neither Adam nor Mekaneck thought to ask. That was their mistake. That was why Mekaneck was now enduring three hours of the sappiest film he'd ever seen—a chick flick by the name of "Les Miserables."

Mekaneck checked his communicator again, praying for an emergency to crop up. Fighting Skeletor would be preferable to another 90 minutes of this. But no such luck. Mekaneck sighed and stuffed another handful of popcorn in his mouth. Maybe if he chewed loud enough, he wouldn't be able to hear the singing.

Next to him, Man-E blew his nose loudly into a handkerchief.

"This scene was always my favorite," he whispered. "It's a shame Adam's missing this."

_Yeah, a shame,_ Mekaneck thought bitterly. Adam had scampered off when the title screen came up, muttering something about a drink refill. He had yet to return. The little weasel must've recognized the name from somewhere and realized what was coming. Or perhaps he'd been tipped off by the fact that besides them, every other member of the audience was a woman. That should've been a warning sign. But Mekaneck had made the connection too late, and by that time the all-female audience was completely entranced by the film. They'd literally snarled at Mekaneck when he'd tried to slip out of the aisle. A girl in the front row had informed him that if he interrupted the film again, she'd stuff his popcorn bucket down his miserable throat.

This shining example of femininity was now sobbing into her own popcorn. On-screen, a delirious woman on her death bed sang for her missing child.

"Why is she dying again?" Mekaneck asked, only to be shushed from all directions. He huffed and drowned his frustration in more popcorn. Judging from the music, the song was nearing its end. Finally.

"—Tell Cossette I love her and I'll see her when I waaaake…." The woman trailed off, her body going limp. A chorus of anguished cries rose from the audience. Man-E let out a gasping sob, mopping his face with a handkerchief. Mekaneck just sighed. He glanced at the gaggle of girls on his other side. They'd all brought out handkerchiefs of their own. All except one—the girl nearest him was trying to wipe her tears with her shirt sleeve. The strategy wasn't working very well. Mekaneck nudged the girl's arm and proffered a napkin. She mouthed a silent thank you as she took it.

"It's so terrible," She choked, scarcely audible. "Poor Fantine went through so much for Cossette and she won't even see her again! It's just—oh!" Without warning, the girl threw herself against Mekaneck and started sobbing on his shoulder. He tensed at the abrupt contact. Okay—this was even more awkward than seeing Man-E crying. Mekaneck gingerly patted the girl on the back.

"It's all right," he murmured, ignoring the shushing sounds from people around them. "It's all right. I'm sure it'll all turn out fine in the end."

The girl nodded, her face still pressed against his shoulder. After a minute, her sobs died down and she returned to watching the movie. But her hand still gripped Mekaneck's arm. He noticed this; but he didn't make any attempt to remove it. And when the girl began trembling during another emotional scene, she didn't object when he took her hand in his.

* * *

The bright lights burned Mekaneck's eyes as he left the theater. He let himself be pushed along by the exiting crowd until he could see again. Once his eyes adjusted, he started for the theater's lobby. As he'd suspected, Prince Adam was there. The boy stood before a colorful pin-sphere game, tongue between his teeth in concentration.

"Took a while to get your drink refilled, huh?"

"Hey, Mek," Adam flashed the soldier a grin, unaffected by the withering glare he was receiving. "Enjoy the movie?"

"You knew it was a chick flick, didn't you?"

"Yeah," The prince admitted. "My mom loves 'Les Mis;' she talks about it all the time. If I'd known that was the opera Man-E was talking about, I wouldn't have come."

"That makes two of us," Mekaneck grumbled. By now, Man-E had reached the lobby. He spotted them and came over. Although his eyes weren't teary anymore, his scarlet nose bore witness to the film's impact on him.

"Ready to go, then?" He sniffed. "I don't know about you two, but I can't wait to get home. I'm emotionally drained."

"Give me a sec," Adam protested, turning back to the game as the pinsphere feel towards the bottom. With the precision of a surgeon, he flipped the silver ball back up and sent it ricocheting off a bell. A blast of tinny music emitted from the machine, and it lit up with dozens of tiny lights.

"Yes! New high score!" Adam punched the air in triumph. He bowed to his friends as if receiving applause. "Thank you, thank you… okay, we can go now."

As they exited the theater, Adam noticed something in Mekaneck's hand.

"Do you want to throw away that napkin before we go?"

"Hmm?" Mekaneck glanced at the paper he held. "Oh, it's not just a napkin, it's—uh, something Cherie gave me."

""Cherie?" Adam gave his friend a quizzical look. Mekaneck grinned in response and held up the napkin. A ten-digit number was written on it above a pink lipstick kiss.

"Apparently, girls like guys who can be sensitive; at least sensitive enough to watch chick movies." The soldier smirked. It was totally worth the three hours.


End file.
